One Month In

Ahh. I have free time and energy right now! Incredible.

So, I've been in grad school for about a month now. We're down two students, and I wonder if everyone else will last sometimes. One left because his mom had returning cancer. He was an only child, she an only parent, so he left. Another left because she sucked at everything, left her husband in the states, and had a serious mental imbalance. So, now we have 12 and I couldn't be happier with the number.

Classes are going well! The first two weeks were very difficult, but I am adjusting to being in class all the time, and already our work is more advanced and therefore more interesting. My weakest class is probably Movement. However, I am by no means the weakest, a fact that really helps me move forward. If I am ever the worst at anything, I am usually unable to improve because embarrassment prevents me from spending to much thought on it. I am not the weakest at anything! And I would say I am one of the strongest in Acting. I am also taking Voice, Music (which I also kinda suck ass at, but not the worst!), Italian, and Philosophy. Philosophy is pretty interesting. We are studying comedy throughout history, beginning with the role of the body in it all since this is a Physical Theatre Program.

I am tired of wearing movement clothes all the time, and I don't think my body looks any differently despite all the working out. There is a crazy little dog named Ubu that belongs to the founding director whom I have taken a liking to despite his severe, unprecedented mood swings. He greeted me this morning, tail wagging, and then after my last class he growled like a demon-possessed at me until I left the courtyard. Darwin would be much loved here...

Phil and I are going to England in a couple weeks. One of my classmates is from there, and we can stay at her parent's house in Manchester for free. Should be pretty interesting. Louise (the English one) laughed hysterically at the expiration phrase on my credit card: "Good Thru." I guess that is weird to her...

Today is Phil's 30th birthday, and I threw a surprise party for him last night that was pretty fun. He is enjoying his Electric Bike and he enjoyed our trip to Rome. Both were for his birthday. He is doing pretty well, and isn't horribly bored alllllll the time. I wish he had more for himself here that would make him less bored/static, but mostly I am just so damn grateful that he is here. For me, life here is wonderful. Free food, free housing, and I thrive in learning environments. I rarely miss America, Chicago, or Little Rock (perhaps also because I rarely have time to). I would love for my family to come visit though. Just to get a perspective on what this is like. And I can't wait to come home for Christmas! For like 5 weeks or something!

So, basically to wrap this up, I am doing well. Love you all!

As Expected, This Shit is a Roller Coaster Ride

First, let me get a beer. Or perhaps just some nutella. I do have an Italian quiz tomorrow. I'll just settle for some pesca te (peach tea).

So. Week one of grad school has gone by, and I would say I enjoyed about 50% of class time more or less. The after class activities last week were great though. One night was spent watching films from my movement teacher's past work, another was dinner at the founding director's (from Little Rock) huge villa, and the last was a surprisingly enjoyable student "show-off-time" caberet.

Class though... is proving.... somewhat unpleasant sometimes. Now, I describe this to you from a decidedly pessimistic mood, so take it for what it's worth.

First of all, classes are loooong. At least two hours, sometimes four. Because of this, I have consistently reached a time during class where I say to myself, "how much longer?" I get bored. Or frustrated. But because I must continue and cannot leave, I generally fall back into things for a time before I again think, "is it over yet?" Plus, all of my teachers tend to run over for a few minutes. Very annoying.

Secondly, my faith in the institution has both strengthened and wavered. Strengthened in the sense that I am more sure than ever that the faculty are truly experts in their fields and well-versed in teaching their techniques. This does not mean that I am always interested in the topics of study, but I am sure that they are not making it up at least. Now, on the wavering front, the administrative side of things is constantly crumbling; unexpected meetings, costs, and requirements pop up every other day or so. For example, we owe the school some surprise security deposit for the spaces we are using. Also, the other student's housing has turned out to be less than satisfactory (thank god I'm not in that boat). One student quit before we began, and so the students living with him will have to cover the cost of his absence. Our study abroad in Torino is very complicated because we have an odd number of students, and so everyone wants a cheap room, but that isn't possible. So, unjustly, someone is just going to get stuck paying at least 130 euro more than they others to live in Torino. And so on and so forth...

Finally, I have come to suspect that the students chosen to study here for this first round of the MFA program were in some part chosen simply because they were interested. Some are so far behind in simple physical theatre technique that extra class time must regularly be spent solely on them, others are actually so out of tune with their body that they accidentally hurt other students. They are really sucky pretty much, and because of that I feel deceived. I trusted that they wouldn't allow any students into the program that wouldn't excel, but clearly that isn't the case. And about half of them are overweight. Not necessarily out of shape, but definitely not in shape. I fear that I might have been one of their top picks.... and to me, that doesn't speak well to the options they had at auditions. I actually despise one classmate so much that we he comes near me in class, I am repulsed. And I am forced to partner with him regularly! And because there is an odd number, I am often forced to be in a trio with him while the others get to spend more time practicing in their pairs...

I know I am being shallow, and that it is me who has the problem, but I am becoming increasingly judgemental of certain classmates seemingly out of my control! I can't seem to turn it off or view the positive things about these people (BC THEY HAVE NONE).

There are some classmates that are ok, but no one is really sticking out to me as cool. I am eternally grateful that my best friend is here. I can vent to him and that is great. Otherwise I would be venting to my classmates, and I don't want to bring my negativity into the mix.

Oh, also, last week the one classmate I despise (simply for his all around awkwardness, blandness, lack of sense of humor, and constant "tips") had to go to the hosipital in the middle of the night for "kidney stones" (that mysteriously have disappeared now), and Phil took the heat for not helping him get there more. Now, first of all Phil did exactly as he was instructed-- call Monica-- and just because she was unreachable, he was supposed to know what to do on his 5th day of work? Plus, the repulsive dude lives an hour away and right next to the hospital. Just. go. to. the. fucking. hospital. DUH. Do you need Phil's permission? Anyway, so there was a flurry of administrative bloopers the following day due to that. These people need extra staff to take care of the non-academic side of things.

The plus side of teletubby (my nickname for the repulsive one) going to the hospital in the middle of the night was his absence in class the following day. Ah... bliss. If only he would quit. Or someone would! This 13 things bothers me both because of its history as an unlucky number, and its constant awkwardness when we need to get into groups of two or three.

Anyway, I am not feeling super excited about anything right now. Except the delicious food that is served here three times a day! Spring rolls for lunch today was awesome.

So, I better put the pesca te back into the fridge, shower, and start on my plethora of Italian homework.

Ciao, bitches.

Joyfull

Have I ever felt inspired as often as now?

This place, these teachers, these people. I am wrapped in comfort, like a baby who is ready to take his first step. I feel like this may be the first, the only time where I have ever felt like I can do anything, and whatever I do, it will be rejoiced.

This first week of classes has been full of its ups and downs. I am so sore, so tired. Yet, when I'm happy I'm flying so high. This isn't perfect. It's sometimes perfunctory, but most of all it's provactive.

I can't wait until the next caberet (which I abhorred the thought of until tonight). I am really going to try something new that I have always wanted to try. This community is such a joy.

Now, I'm exhausted. Good night!

arezzo

sweet nectarines, sweaty skins, bruised shins

scrotums

sunset vistas, villas, aperitivos

spritz

tuscan etruscan ball-bustin

no traffic cops or sidewalks

duomos, do you know?

arezzo

First Impressions

Was there ever a time in your life when you couldn't wait to be surrounded by people you didn't know because you longed for new companions? Not saying that your current friends weren't enough or sucked, but did you ever anticipate meeting new people-- making new friends?

I have. Once before when I entered undergrad, I was so anxious for the new friends I would make! Because I had focused so much of my attention on Richard, I wasn't close to anyone except him, and I wanted to meet new people and form new bonds. That way, if anything ever happened to our relationship, I would have people to turn to. And I did make the best friends I have ever had. First, I made lasting relationships with my dorm-mates, then with the people who grew with me in theatre. I fucking love those people.

It's also how I was looking forward to meeting my fellow MFAers in Italy. NOT saying that my friends in Chicago weren't cool because I loved them dearly. I was hoping to connect with people whom I could collaborate with, make art with, and laugh with-- I was hoping to re-meet my friends from undergrad in new bodies. How could I be so naive? I should have known that these people would be different. First of all, we're all adults and have established who we are. Secondly, we all come from different places with a wide-variety of backgrounds. I should have known that there would be no Kelsie-- how could anyone ever replicate her? There is no Chad, no Taylor, no Harvey, no Sharon. All the people I love live in the states and their personalities do not coexist in someone else's body here.

Here are my first impressions of my 12 (oh actually have only met 11 so far...) fellow classmates. I will not name names, label genders, or speak in depth for fear that they stumble upon this. I truly don't want to hurt their feelings, but I do want to record my first impressions. So, in a word:

1. Very Pompous

2. Brash

3. Naive

4. Flaky

5. Kat Guyer/Teletubby (had to do two!)

6. Shy

7. Snooty

8. Arrogant

9. Obtrusive

10. Cool/Friendly

11. Positive

What is their first impression of me? People always say it is so important, but I remember meeting Lacy, Doug, Harvey, etc. and my first impression of them really didn't matter in the end. It was just a funny topic of conversation.

They probably think I'm too... involved in Phil. We really do spend all of our time together, and I often blow off hanging out with them to stay home with him. But can you blame me? From my discriptions, I'm not really clicking with everyone to the max.

I'm not really concerned though. Class starts Monday, and aside from several bumps in the administrative road I am very much looking forward to this. I will try to keep you up-to-date about what techniques we are studying, but not go into too much jargon-y detail. As we learn, we will grow closer and learn about one another beyond the surface. I do very much hope that I can click with them though. It will be very difficult to create the kind of art I want to without being able to collaborate with competent, inspirational peers.

Anyway, enough shallowness. Buona Notte! Did I say that right?

Things That I've Learned About Italy

Here are a number of things that I have learned about Italy:

1. Everyone grows their own olives.

2. Beer, wine, and liquor are cheap here. For instance, a wonderful bottle of wine, a Frizzante Rossa Secco or something, only cost 6.50 euro.

3. Beer is not sold in six packs. It is either singular or in three packs.

4. Coke cans are usually shaped more like a fat red bull can.

5. Rice is packaged in an air-tight package.

6. Grocery store check ladies (never seen a man performing this job here) sit rather than stand.

7. The method of mosquito rejection is not screen on windows, it is instead a mini-heater called a vape. You insert a tiny, odorous chip that emits a smell that mosquitos find unpleasant.

8. There is no air-conditioning in Italy.

9. There is no such thing as a doggie bag at restaurants.

10. It is crude to drink beer out of the bottle.

11. Every household has at least one bidet.

12. I've learned how to use a bidet, and already I love it.

13. Everyone goes to the grocery store all the time.

14. There are rarely sidewalks in Italy.

15. Technology in general is sub-par-- but that's normal.

16. People go out and have drinks and food before dinner. It is called an aperitivo.

17. Many people, at least in Bogliaco, have pet turtles that they build houses for in their backyard.

18. There is no such thing as a full, queen, or king bed. They simply put singularo beds together.

19. Things are both ancient and innovative here. Italians live both practical and luxurious lives.

20. Sex is better in Italy.

Italy - 1st Impression

We made it!

Phil and I began travel approximately 48 hours ago, and what a 48 hours they have been. We left Little Rock eager for what lay ahead. Arriving in Chicago made us both giddy to be home and sad to leave it behind. What a great city. I am most definitely going to miss it. It is as far opposite of where we are now as it can get. Phil and I were both happy with the plan to travel from Midway to O'Hare because we had plenty of time, and we wanted to travel through Chicago one more time. However... it was slightly trying. Our bags, though much better and smaller than luggage, were quite heavy. We each had a stuffed-to-the-rim backpack and a jam-packed laptop bag. We each had an extra 50 lbs., at least, hanging from our shoulders, so the trip was actually pretty exhausting. We stopped at a place we had always wanted to eat about four blocks off the blue line (to O'Hare) called Handlebar that serves all vegetarian cuisine. It was delicious, but the portion sizes were enormous! I had to leave 3/4 of my sandwich in Chicago. Everything was a little overly salted for my latest tastes, but I think I have just become sensitive. We went ahead and travelled to O'Hare about three and a half hours before our flight just so that we would have a place to relax and set down our bags. There we mentally and monetarily prepared to leave the states.

I changed my $237 to euros at the airport. Only got 141 euro back. Crazy! Then we had an easy time getting the boarding crew to help Phil and I get our seats put together, as they somehow were separate even though we bought our tickets at the same time. Horrible seats, but since we flew overnight and over the Atlantic it wasn't too concerning that we were seated in the middle set of three sections of seats. We ate TV dinners while watching 17 Again with Zack Braff. It wasn't terrible. We tried to sleep after that, but only got around 3 hours. When we arrived in Dublin it was 2:30 a.m. according to our bodies, but 8:30 according to Dublin.

We were exhausted, and annoyed to have to travel through security again. We didn't have to take off our shoes, but they did have to inspect my umbrella. Luckily I made it through. The Dublin airport was under construction, so half of it was deserted, broke-down hallways and the other half was a posh shopping area. Bizarre. They also sold condoms, tampons, and jelly beans from the same machine in the bathroom. We had to travel outside the airport and board the plane via a drivable staircase. It was chilly! I insisted on the window seat, since I had sat next to other passengers the whole journey, and I was sooo looking forward to flying over Paris and the rest of Europe, but my body insisted I sleep, so I did for about an hour and a half. When I awoke we were flying over a patchwork of yellow farms that was Italy.

When we got off of the plane my body was begging me not to pick up my bags again, but of course I had to. It was 2:30 in Bologna and very hot. We again exited on stairs and rode a strange bus to the passport check in. We had a bit of trouble buying tickets for the Aerobus that would take us to the train station. It was probably the most stressful moment of the whole trip actually. But all I had to do was break a 20 by buying a candy bar, so it turned out just fine.

We traveled by train from Bologna to Florence and then Florence to Arezzo. Not too hard at all. Bologna was a bit trashy and worn looking to me. When we arrived in Arezzo, we were both delerious from travel and looking forward to a place to rest. A classmate, Taylor met us at the train station took us via taxi to the school where we will live for the next year. He wasn't very chatty. When we arrived we met a series of people, dropped our stuff off, and ate a quick dinner with the students. They have vegetarian food here. :) After that we immediately went to our rooms, made our bed, and went to sleep. Other than waking very early here (I was up before 5), today has been incredibly normal.

So, first impressions. I can't believe how pastoral and rural it is here! Yet urban because there are a lot of people living here. All around us, we see olive groves and backyard vineyards. We're on top of a hill, so we can see for miles. It is witheringly beautiful. Cyprus trees penetrate the sky from every direction, and the houses have clay-red rooves and yellow washed walls. There is an renaissance era aquaduct 100 feet from the school, and you can see the gothic towers of medieval churches. It is very beautiful. Our apartment is small, with no AC, but Phil and I like it very much and can't wait to make it home.

It is insane to realize you have an important question, but don't know the words to ask it. I can't wait to start learning the language. It is dry here, and everyone rides a moped. The staff, faculty, and other students are so far very friendly and clearly have close relationships with one another. I think that they will become very valuable people to me. I miss Darwin, but I know that I could not deal with him here. I have to deal with myself first!

Classes start the Monday after next, and Phil and I are considering taking a bus to the coast for the weekend. Maybe go to the beach and stay in a cheap hotel. Whatever we do, I'm sure we won't have done it before which is so very exciting. For every moment I spend scared or nervous here, I have two feeling exhilarated and in awe. I think this is going to be great!

Before Takeoff

So, I'm moving to Italy in 8 days, and I wanted to record what this means to me and how I feel about it at just this moment. Perhaps one day I will check back, and I will think about how silly I was.

Lately I feel like no matter how hard I try to be positive and good, I am failing. You know how they say that some see the world through rose-colored glasses? Recently, I see the world through gray colored glasses. I can't appreciate the beauties around me, and I can't appreciate this time with friends and family. And though, of course, I feel this way once in a while all the time, this negative sludge has been creeping around in my sight and spirit for too long now. The only reason I can figure is that I am afraid.

Whether or not that has to do with my cynicism, I am certain that I am full of fear right now. I have already involved myself in something so much larger than anything else before, and I am speeding ever faster towards my chosen fate everyday. A week from tomorrow I begin my journey. Am I ready? NO! I haven't packed, I haven't finished my school work, I have no idea where I stand with my financial aid or my cell phone plans, or even my vegitarianism! There is so very much that I must do, and because this is my dream and I am an adult, I must do it all on my own.

Which is fine. I can do it. Don't doubt that. I am just experiencing a little trepidation... and panic. And I find myself wishing more than ever now that Phil shared this dream of mine. Then we could pump each other up, and it would be ok for me to be so afraid. But when I tell him of my fear, he worries that I've made the wrong decision for us both. And I need to be strong for him. This is my choice, and he beautifully chose to stick with me. So, I owe him that at least.

So full of awe that I will be somewhere I always dreamed of next week. And not temporarily. Chicago changed me SO much. Spending these past few weeks in Arkansas has shown me that! So, what will Italy do? I'll be there a year longer than I was in Chicago perhaps. Who will I be when I attain my MFA? Who will Phil be? I have no doubts right now that we will be together in the end. We are wonderful together. He is the pepper to my salt and the wind in my leaves. Maybe we will grow to be the super couple that Maggie predicted we would.

So, this week is the final countdown before my mind is blown from the experience that is Europe. And I have a lot to prepare and prepare for. I plan to record my experience across the sea on this blog, so please keep reading. I know I'm required to keep a journal for class, so some retrospective acting jargon may leak in every once in a while.

Wish me buona fortunas! Did I say that right?

Paparazzi and the Celeb Obsession

Celeb Pre-School Is a Paparazzi Hot Spot - ABC News


I have long been disgusted by our society's obsession with famous and beautiful. I don't buy Star magazine or watch Entertainment Tonight. It's not worth my time. The events of those strangers' lives have no affect on mine.

The article linked to this really infuriated me though. I just don't understand why we allow paparazzi to behave the way they do with no legal consequences.

First of all, why is it legal to stalk someone? Just because celebrity's lives are cush, does that mean they should have to be subjected to hourly scrutiny? The article says "these people are celebrities and they signed up for this." Did they? Just because one is successful?

We have to get permission from people before using their picture for marketing of advertising at the museum where I work. We can't make a profit off of someone that doesn't agree to it. Why can photographers capitalize off taking pictures of people who try, daily, to refuse them the right?

Why is this legal? I just don't understand. Why do I care about the affect this has on the same strangers whose lives I don't follow? Because I hate that people across the world who disagree with paparazzi still watch TMZ. Or the people who mold their lives around these celebrities, worship them even, and yet hatefully agree that the paparazzi are right: "that they signed up for this."

Do you think it's wrong? Do you support the sources that pay paparazzi good money to act like mongrels? Why?

Real Love? RealDolls

Last week a man visited the museum with his fiance. She was in a wheel chair, and he took her to see the butterfly haven because she loved butterflies. She was sex doll.

After this incident, I found this documentary online. I find this syndrome odd, maybe even gross. However, I can identify with these men. Driven by their lonliness, their testosterone, they have spent $7,000 to have a companion. While watching the film, I was often affected by their treatment of the dolls as real people. They spoke to them, cried when they were gone, and one man even massaged his doll's feet-- a feat I can not even get Phil to do! THis idea actually initially repulsed me, but I couldn't help but recall how much I considered my stuffed animal, Toby's, feelings about things. Imagine if he looked like a real person. I found these mens' stories fascinating, sad, and the epitomy of the human need for companionship. I recommend you spend 45 minutes to watch this.

Anti-Gay Marriage Commercials

I wrote some really confusing and disjointed status updates with these links. Sorry about that. Below you can follow a link to the National Organization for Marriage website where they preach about religious liberty. They just launched a "$1.5 million ad campaign to protect marriage and religious liberty throughout the nation. The centerpiece of the new ad campaign is the 60-second TV spot 'A Gathering Storm,' bringing viewers face to face with the growing religious liberty threat posed by same-sex marriage."

http://www.nationformarriage.org/site/c.omL2KeN0LzH/b.5075663/k.A89C/Religious_Liberty.htm

Below is Steven Colbert's commercial against gay marriage. Enjoy:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scott/colberts-anti-gay-marriage-ad


Damn, that shit is funny...

Crazy Old Women

I work on an almost daily basis with people who give their time for free to educate people-- children mostly-- about nature.  As you would expect many of these people are elderly, or at least late middle-aged.  Older people have more money, stability, and time to spare, so they are the ones who volunteer the most.  Working with so many more elderly people than I ever have before, I have learned a lot about myself and also, a lot about old people. From what I have gathered I have formed a theory: all women, at some point in their lives, go from normal to completely. fucking. crazy.

They all manifest this insanity in their own unique way, and it is certainly not always negative.  A common theme in all of their craziness though, is the inability to know when not to say things. Or rather, I believe that they all know they shouldn't say these things, they just have somehow abandoned the desire to spare any one's feelings.  They have abandoned the social barriers that help people work together and really, they abandon social order in general.  They all become extreme versions of what they always were.  One volunteer is a caricature of an outspoken know-it-all, another a paranoid, critical banshee, another a frog-pant wearing, spoiled valley-girl. Others sink lower into their own inability to comprehend things-- wandering into formal programs, breaking rules put in place to keep animals from getting hurt, or even explaining sex to young children.

What is wrong with these people? Am I doomed to lose my mind as well? Or am I looking at a minuscule sample of women? A minority group that is interested in outdoorsy things and teaching people? But I would fall into that group as well!  Does that mean I am doomed to call people out when they're wrong and criticise people who are just coming into their own?  I don't want to go into that world. It seems so lonely and full of negativity. 

Or is it a right-- that one earns in time?  That you gain after hearing your own elders express themselves, no matter what, for years? Perhaps it is actually quite wonderful... and that's why all women eventually give in and fully accept who they are- despite the fact that they will break a few social rules.

And why don't men seem to expose themselves in the same way? I work with a lot of older men as well, and they never strike me with the same level of oddities.  Is it because I am a girl? That they can't forge the same kind of matronly relationship that the old biddies do?

I don't know the answers to the questions, and I'm sure you don't either. However, ask yourself this:  Are you a crazy old woman? Are you married to one? Do you know one? 

Why do you think women reach a point in their life when they go out onto their own limb-- for better or for worse?

Hold My Hand

On this journey, we walk hand in hand
me beside you, woman beside man
now I'm pulling ahead, excited to see
but you're not so sure, you begin to follow me
at first i don't notice, don't care maybe
our fingers are still locked indefinitely
slowly though, our hold begins to break
pinky then ring, now the middle's at stake
my focus on the path ahead begins to waver
I turn back to find that you're thinking about later
if I stop right now, will we make it in time?
couldn't you just try? i swear it'll be fine
you nod and you follow but i know something's not right
there's a furrow between your brows, your mouth held tight
smile for me please
I'll beg on my knees
just look at where we're going!
who cares about knowing?

as much as I want it, I know it's not that easy
frankly the whole think is making me feel sleazy
I kid you not, I feel like a criminal
Our hold is really breaking-- the feeling is visceral
I'm hoping and praying, and still it's not there.
I am painfully aware that what I ask isn't fair.
I don't want this anymore
I just want you to feel self assured
But am I willing to give it all up?
I'm still moving forward, but I feel stuck.
If you can't walk beside me, the pleasure is diminished
Will we be ok when it's all finished?

My Grad School Statement of Purpose

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE....

.. ..

Antonin Artaud said, “it has not been definitely proved that the language of words is the best possible language.” This quote encompasses my thoughtful journey as an artist from my final days in undergraduate school through my adventure in the“real world.” I have always known that I was willing to do whatever it took to work in the theatre. However, after moving to one of the top cities for theatre in the United States, I uncovered a passion for a kind of theatre that leaves words behind, or at least de-emphasizes them. Experiencing clown, circus, and mask theatre has roused in me the need to dedicate my life’s work to performing and sharing Physical Theatre. I want to set the foundation for that goal by getting the very best training, and I believe I will get that training at ADA. I know that there are people out there that seek graduate school as a means to fame or fortune, as just a bridge to a degree, or even as a way to put off being battered in professional theatre, but for me, attaining a Masters of Fine Arts is a means to getting the training, experience, and future stability that I need to succeed in my passion. ADA is the ideal school for me because it offers an unsurpassed richness of study,the opportunity to work with passionate peers and experts to hone unique techniques where they originated, and the schooling and life experience needed to set foot on the path to a lifetime of doing what I love.....

For a short period of my acting career, I was unaware of most styles of acting that weren’t based in some form of realism. I was surrounded by similarly educated people, and we dreamed together of making films and acting in plays that were just like life. I was satisfied by that, and I did not realize anything was lacking. When I first saw a play using masks, the effect it had on me was striking, and I will never forget it. A new professor at my undergraduate school directed The Visit with a variety of character and neutral masks, and the effect was hypnotizing.Though I knew nearly every actor as a friend, I could not see them behind their masks. What’s more, I found the story instantly more captivating and affecting because I felt like I could see the characters’ true selves. It was haunting and beautiful. Since then, I have sought out circus, puppet, movement, and clown theatre in my current home, Chicago, because I find it clearer, more delightful, magical, and inspirational. In physical theatre, I find an added layer of potency because of its heightened emotional state and its spectacle, and I want that potency to be a part of the rest of my life. ....

In order to do that, I want to participate fully in becoming an expert in the field, and unfortunately few schools in the world support that dream. The few that there are cannot attempt to compare with specialists like a founder of the Roy Hart Theatre or circus technicians like Claudia Schnürer. Some may offer opportunities to study abroad, but never to jewels like the Berliner Schule Für Schauspiel in Germany, the Ecole Supérieure des Arts du Cirque in Belgium, and the Teatro Fondamenta Nuove in Venice. The training opportunities are utterly matchless. Moreover, I know of no MFA programs that can provide the chance to study these techniques on the very soil from which they stemmed. The mere suggestion of studying Commedia dell’Arte in the mountains where it originally toured for the people of Italy is absolutely electrifying. ....

However, for me attending ADA represents more than just taking great classes taught by great teachers. It would be the opportunity to build a community with peers and professionals. I am the type of person who thrives when working closely with other people whom I respect. If I am accepted into Ad'A, I look forward to creating work with people who have similar interests and to experiencing the joy of sharing community-based acting as opposed to the individualized technique that psychological realism supports. The concept of building an ensemble is exciting because the bonds of trust that would be formed would lead to deeper, more truthful work.....

I want to pursue this degree because I am ready to make a commitment to setting my life on a course of performing and teaching performance. I want to spend the rest of my existence sharing the magic of clowning, mask-work, and circus arts with audiences and students alike. I am seeking theatre as an art that shares the extraordinary and the enchanting with the everyman. I want to catalyze students to learn about themselves and inspire other people through these powerful techniques. I have been an informal teacher for six years, and a performer for eleven. To me, these two very different professions are unequivocally linked through a common goal: to illustrate a point of view in order to broaden another’s view of the world. This goal is something I endlessly enjoy and want to do for the rest of my life. Earning an MFA will allow me to teach on a college level,which will offer me stability, an outlet to research and experiment, and the opportunity to inspire passionate young people.....

I understand that I am going to be faced with challenges unlike any that I have faced yet, and I am ready to face them. Performance and teaching performance are among the most competitive professions, but I am ready to fight. I believe that studying at Ad’A will add immeasurable richness to my life, and I would very much like to pursue an education there if you will have me. I’m deeply grateful for your consideration,and wish you the best possible class for your inaugural year.....