Random Moment

When that question comes up
Your biggest regret?
Thoughts topple down, but never hit very hard
then theres
that
and that

boys. girls.
fickle fantasies that fizzle 
on a dock in the sizzle summer a little drunk under a droopy moon
only a budding baby girl
and a big ol’ boy
but just a baby boy
confessions of love and foolish denials
shallow water, shallow desires
loss of a fragile friendship
that i will never quite let go. 
why not?

bigger girl grabs greedily onto what she thinks she wants
drink a little more
block out the tough stuff
drink
drink
drink
bashully black out for the biggest moment
waited so long for that moment
lost it
maybe the moment wasn’t worth the man 
maybe the man was worth more than I was ready to admit

the big regrets arent decisions about my life
they are about the people i hurt
the men
the men i really did love
in my way
that i just can’t let go
that slip into my sorrowfulsecondthoughts

sorry, boys.